Top Ten TV Episodes of 2013

You know my fifty favorite TV shows of 2013. Here are my favorite individual episodes. Now, for the record, there are many, many more episodes I wanted to include – the fact that Hannibal, Bunheads, Bob's Burgers, Justified, Scandal, Arrested Development and 30 Rock are all excluded from this list pains me. But if I cracked the doors a little more this would suddenly go from a ten-plus-episode list to a hundred-episode list, so I had to keep this club just a bit exclusive. Starting with a few runners-up I couldn't not mention, then rolling right into the top ten (with episode blurbs adapted from what I previously wrote in my monthly Best TV Episodes lists):

Runners-Up (alphabetical by show): Fringe, Season 5 Episode 13 - "An Enemy of Fate," Futurama, Season 7 Episode 26 - "Meanwhile," Game of Thrones, Season 3 Episode 4 - "And Now His Watch Is Ended," Orange Is the New Black, Season 1 Episode 11 - "Tall Men With Feelings," Spartacus, Season 3 Episode 6 - "Spoils of War," Spartacus, Season 3 Episode 8 - "Separate Paths"

10. Arrow, Season 1 Episode 23 - "Sacrifice"
Arrow had hands-down the best network season finale this spring. "Sacrifice" almost had a Buffy's "The Gift"-esque hugeness in scale and sheer climactic feel to it as Starling City began literally crumbling under the influence of the season's overarching supervillain plot. And Arrow didn't just tell, but showed buildings collapsing and streets imploding and anarchy abound, and it was huge and frightful and awesome. The episode had operatic, outsized action and emotion and a twist that floored me in its final minutes. "Sacrifice" is exactly what a pulpy action/adventure TV serial should look like.
9. Parenthood, Season 4 Episode 13 - "Small Victories"
"Small Victories" was a fantastic, achingly emotional hour of Parenthood that "took on" the abortion issue by refusing to "take it on" at all, instead depicting something overly politicized as the deeply personal choice it is. And the relative heaviness of that story was balanced by a comedic B-plot about body odor and pubic hair that had me laughing embarrassingly loud. This episode succinctly sums up everything that is good and vital about Parenthood.
8. Breaking Bad, Season 5 Episode 16 - "Felina"

(Spoilers follow!) Part of what makes Breaking Bad great (and stand out in contrast against most attempts at "quality television" that have followed) is that, for all its darkness and misery and its focus on consequences and its character arcs of supreme, literary power, it can be a really, really fun show with thick veins of pulp running through it. Always has been, from Walt destroying Tuco's office with magic bomb crystals to several instances of cool guys not looking at explosions to the half-Terminator/half-Anton Chigurh Salamanca twins to Two-Face Gus Fring fixing his tie before dying. And it's in that spirit that one of dramatic television's great narratives ends with its protagonist building and deploying a Nazi-killing robot. Awesome!

7. Game of Thrones, Season 3 Episode 9 - "The Rains of Castamere"

After patiently holding it in for three years, being able to finally shout "RED WEDDING RED WEDDING RED WEDDING RED WEDDING!!!!!" at the top of my lungs across every corner of the internet felt so very, very good. I have nothing to add to the discussion surrounding this episode's infinitely-dissected final ten minutes (beyond one last good old-fashioned "Holy fucking shit!"), but even outside of that iconic, unforgettable sequence it was a great hour for the Jon Snow, Arya and Daenerys storylines too. It's an episode worthy of being called the spiritual successor to season 1's "Baelor."

6. American Dad, Season 8 Episode 18 - "Lost In Space"

Detaching entirely from the titular American dad and core Smith family, "Lost In Space" follows alien prisoner Jeff Fischer to a space station above Roger's home planet, where he tries to figure out how to escape captivity in a big, stylish, intergalactic musical action-adventure comedy extravaganza that might just be the year's most purely ambitious sitcom episode. It almost felt like a whole space opera compressed into 22 minutes (with jokes), complete with impressive alien design and massive, complicated "sets" that showed a hell of a lot of visual imagination. It had emotional depth and a bittersweet, melancholy ending you'd never associate with the MacFarlane animation empire.

5. Switched at Birth, Season 2 Episode 9 - "Uprising"

I mostly just think of ABC Family's Switched at Birth as a teen drama – a far above-average one, but just a teen drama regardless – so it was a pleasant surprise to see them produce this formally and emotionally ambitious hour. The students of Carlton School for the Deaf rise up in an occupation protest when the city moves to shut their school down, which is, except for a few spoken lines at the episode's beginning and one more at its end, depicted entirely in silence with nothing but subtitled sign language to better reflect the viewpoint of the deaf characters. It was unique and ballsy, but more importantly than having a great gimmick, it had a great gimmick rooted entirely in character, thematically relevant and tied to a strong emotional throughline.

4. Spartacus, Season 3 Episode 9 - "The Dead and the Dying"

Years ago I read about how the real historical Spartacus held his own gladiatorial games to honor a fallen brother, using captured Roman soldiers as gladiators, and I spent all of Spartacus: War of the Damned nervously eyeing the ticking-down episode count, wondering whether or not showrunner Steven DeKnight had just decided to skip this particularly juicy historical nugget. But it turns out, nope, he was just delaying our pleasure, saving one of the show's finest outings for its penultimate installment.

DeKnight tweaked history to bring our heroes into the action (rather than having the Romans fight each other, in the show they fight the former slave/gladiator main characters), and, to be blunt, it was deliriously fucking awesome. In a show that is normally one of the most thoughtful and contemplative and consequence-heavy on television in its depiction of violence, it was enormous fun to see an episode just kick back and let it rip with an hour of pure pump-your-fists-and-cheer-out-loud bloody spectacle for perhaps the first time since Gods of the Arena. Just awesome.

3. Breaking Bad, Season 5 Episode 14 - "Ozymandias"

The crucial flip side of Breaking Bad's deliciously pulpy essence – what raises it from entertainment to televised literature – lies in the darkness, the misery and the consequences on full display in "Ozymandias," which Vince Gilligan himself has declared his masterpiece and the best episode of the series. I'm not 100% sure I'm ready to go that far – I need to rewatch the entire series and see "One Minute" and "Full Measure" and "Crawl Space" and "Face Off" and "Dead Freight" again first – but it is as intense, brutal and harrowing an hour of television as I've ever seen. If "Felina" is the climax to Breaking Bad, the entertaining crime/thriller saga, "Ozymandias" is the climax to Breaking Bad, the bleak tale of a man losing his soul and the horrors he rains upon everyone around him. Beginning to end, "Ozymandias" is an episode about consequences, and karma brought its full fury against Walter White and his family in service of just that.

2. The Legend of Korra, Season 2 Episodes 7 & 8 - "Beginnings" (two-parter)

Easily the best episode (well, technically episodes, but they aired together and go together, so whatever) of The Legend of Korra to date and what would have to be in contention to be called the best episode of the entire Avatar franchise, "Beginnings" took us back to the prehistory of the Avatar world and showed us the life and genesis and battles of Wan, the first Avatar. And, as far as genre prequels go, let's call it the exact opposite of The Phantom Menace: Something great and beautiful and damn near perfect in every way. It enchanted me, it intrigued me, it thrilled me, it moved me, it left me both grinning like a dope and damn near on the cusp of tears. It's basically Korra's stab at a Miyazaki "concept episode," and it does Princess Mononoke proud.

If you were to pluck "Beginnings" from its home on TV and call it a movie, I don't know that I've enjoyed an animated film so much since... god, WALL•E, maybe? Very, very few episodes of television have made me feel giddy and excited and moved and just freaking in awe of the sheer potential of onscreen storytelling like this in years. Maybe ever. The animation? Beautiful, breathtaking. The emotion? Goosebumps all over my body. The action? Immensely badass. The sheer scope of its storytelling? It rivals entire epic fantasy narratives like The Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter in the space of about forty minutes of television. "Beginnings" is TV of mythic power. I love, love, love, love, love it.

1. Spartacus, Season 3 Episode 10 - "Victory"

I've already written and talked about 2013's finest television achievement at arguably excessive length and have little more to add on the subject. But I'll emphasize one last time that Spartacus' finale really had its cake and ate it too, providing a rich emotional feast and the conclusions to years of thoughtful character work and tying a totally satisfying thematic bow on everything while also remembering to give us a final battle sequence that made Game of Thrones' "Blackwater" look like the skirmish at the end of a Hercules: The Legendary Journeys episode. It's one of the best series finales and one of the best episodes of television I've ever seen.

Top Fifty TV Shows of 2013: #30 - 11

Alright, so things got a little hairy in the lower echelons of the #50-31 rankings last week. At points I actually felt more like I was writing a "worst of" list than a "best of." But you've reached the light at the end of the tunnel: While I may not consider the twenty shows below to have been among the ten best this year and I have my gripes about each, I can say with confidence that I like every single one of them. Let's get it started in here:

30. The Borgias (Showtime)

Best 2013 Episode: Season 3 Episode 10 - "The Prince" | New to List

Mix one part watered-down Game of Thrones with two-to-three parts The Tudors and you'll end up with Showtime's antihero Pope drama The Borgias, a show never exceptional but almost always pretty good. If you're looking for sex and violence and religion and scheming and sumptuous cinematography and set design and even a couple big battle sequences, it comes recommended, though with the caveat that it got canceled at the end of season 3 with no real, conclusive ending. The show has some problems, including the fact that it never convinced me our ruling-class heroes were the underdogs in any conflict it put them in, but I still wish I could see the fourth season that's never going to happen.

29. Awkward (MTV)

Best 2013 Episode: Season 3 Episode 20 - "Who I Want to Be" | Down 3 from 2012

Lauren Iungerich's droll, witty, energetic high school sitcom Awkward is unfortunately going to be entering its fourth season in 2014 absent one key ingredient: Lauren Iungerich. I'm unclear whether she quit or was pushed out, but one way or another Awkward is going to be missing its voice next year, which makes me fear we're in for a Community season 4 / Gilmore Girls season 7 scenario. But Lauren at least went out strong. Awkward season 3 remains far too obsessed with love triangles (my biggest problem with the show last year too), but takes its protagonist Jenna Hamilton through a dynamic emotional journey and wrapped up its season/year with one of the strongest, most moving episodes of the series.

28. The Office (NBC)

Best 2013 Episode: Season 9 Episode 23 - "Finale" | Up 8 from 2012

Like The Walking Dead and The Newsroom, The Office is this high on my list (and up from last year!) on the strength of exactly one episode: Its series finale. I don't think I'm being out-there or controversial when I say this show suffered massively from the loss of Steve Carell, but it remains an eternal fact of my own TV history that The Office was, for about a year or so, more or less my favorite show on television. Those emotional bonds can be fractured but are hard to shake entirely, and as such the emotion of "Finale" was felt deeply. Even Carell's return, while nice, ends up being largely incidental to the impact of the show's quiet and heartfelt final moments. There were literally dozens of Office episodes I found pretty damn bad by the end of its run, but it'll always be a show I remember fondly.

27. New Girl (Fox)

Best 2013 Episode: Season 3 Episode 8 - "Menus" | Down 4 from 2012

Weird fact: I consider New Girl's 2013 run to be superior to its 2012, yet somehow it's lower on my list this year. What's that about? Ranking pedantry aside, what I wrote last year still applies; New Girl was then and remains now "currently the best 'roommates in an apartment in the city' Friends-styled sitcom on the air." Hell, by an even bigger margin now that Happy Endings is dead. This year the show leaned heavily on the Ross/Rachel will-they-won't-they dynamic of Jess and Nick (and, as the above image indicates, answered it: they will), which isn't generally something I watch TV shows for or care about but in this case was mostly charming. Damon Wayans Jr. rejoining season 3 in a semi-regular capacity as Coach – last seen in the pilot! – has also been a boon to the show.

26. Homeland (Showtime)
Best 2013 Episode: Season 3 Episode 12 - "The Star" | Down 13 from 2012

A couple years ago, I reviewed the pilot of Homeland, calling it "the thinking man's 24." Roughly a year after that, I said that the show had lost what made it smart and different and essentially become "24 2." Now I'll offer a second amendment: Homeland is the pretentious man's 24; a twisty terrorism thriller that's mostly about cliffhangers and finding out who's gonna die next, only wearing a "moral examination of the war on terror" suit that, if you look closely, is cheap and ratty and barely holds together. Also, this season's Dana/Leo subplot is one of the shittiest things I saw on TV all year. All that said, the season finale "The Star" is a very good episode of television, one which thankfully has the balls to follow the show's story through to its only logical conclusion. If not for that episode Homeland would probably be ten ranks lower on this list.

Best TV Episodes, August 2013

10. Longmire, Season 2 Episode 13 – "Bad Medicine"

Good news, everyone! As the summer TV hiatus ends in but a few shorts weeks, August should officially be the last month of "every halfway decent show gets a chance to play on the Best TV Episodes lists" season. One of the final recipients of this season's generosity, following in the footsteps of Defiance and Teen Wolf, is A&E's Wyoming sheriff procedural Longmire (which, despite my protestations in my best of 2012 list, I actually did pick back up and continue with, and it might even be a little higher on my 2013 list). The show's second season finale wasn't mind-blowing or anything, but it had a couple nice twists and some beautiful scenery, which is pretty much all you can ask for from Longmire.

9. Gravity Falls, Season 1 Episode 20 – "Gideon Rises"

Unlike Longmire, Disney's Simpsons-meets-X-Files-for-kids cartoon Gravity Falls is probably going to be lower on my best of 2013 list than where it stood last year. Not that it's been unenjoyable – it's just that my four or five favorite episodes of last year are still my four or five favorite episodes of the series. It's been entertaining this year, but not blowing my hair back. Nevertheless, its first season finale – which parodied mechs and giant monsters in a way that frankly might have been more entertaining than the overrated Pacific Rim – brought the show's first act to a reasonably funny and epic conclusion.

8. Longmire, Season 2 Episode 11 – "Natural Order"

Another Longmire? What gives, Tim?! Well, I'll tell you what gives: Jim Beaver guest spot! That's automatic bonus points right there.

7. Switched at Birth, Season 2 Episode 21 – "Departure of Summer"

I wasn't always in love with this summer-set and summer-airing half-season of Switched at Birth. This show, like pretty much all teen dramas, is stronger with the natural structure of the school year keeping the narrative cohesive. But still, Switched's second season finale (and yes, this makes three season finales in four entries) did a respectable and somewhat moving job of clearing the deck for next year, having characters split apart, confess to wrongdoings and start making amends.

6. The Newsroom, Season 2 Episode 7 – "Red Team III"

One of the more bizarre and pleasant surprises this month was seeing Aaron Sorkin's often preachy and formerly bordering on unwatchable behind-the-scenes-of-TV drama The Newsroom rise to the level of being, well, pretty watchable. A lot of that has to do with Sorkin finally letting his often unpleasantly perfect characters make more mistakes, and as the show's second season nears its end they made a truly massive one, doing a live special news bulletin on a war crime it turned out never occurred. The fallout has made for, if not quite The West Wing or Sports Night or The Social Network, pretty decent television.

5. The Fosters, Season 1 Episode 10 – "I Do"

In what is surely one of TV's better lesbian wedding episodes, the midseason finale of ABC Family's surprisingly moving new drama brought some of the titular Foster family closer than ever while other things fell apart. The show isn't quite Parenthood as far as family dramas go, but I've actually been pretty impressed at how deft it's been in its storytelling, character development and emotions. I can't quite forgive ABC Family for canceling Bunheads, but The Fosters is at least a band-aid on the wound.

4. The Newsroom, Season 2 Episode 5 – "News Night with Will McAvoy"

"News Night with Will McAvoy" is to The Newsroom as the pilot of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is to that show: Almost certainly the best hour it will ever put out, fleeting proof that buried somewhere inside is still the Sorkin who gave us Sports Night and The West Wing. In fact, this episode, which depicts one fast-paced, hectic, sometimes funny but ultimately tragic hour in Will McAvoy and MacKenzie McHale's newsroom, even calls to mind some similarly real-time episodes of those two classic shows, such as the "Draft Day" two-parter from the former and "17 People" from the latter. It's the one time I've finished a Newsroom episode and felt that it actually matched Sorkin's ambitions.

3. Breaking Bad, Season 5 Episode 10 – "Buried"

And now we reach the 500-pound blue meth elephant in the room. I'm not bothering with weekly Breaking Bad reviews on this blog, because quite frankly the entire rest of the internet will already have discussed, debated, broken down, analyzed, gif-ized, and then looped back around for reanalysis for every single episode before I could possibly get around to even typing my first sentence on the matter. There'd be no point; I'd be spitting into a tsunami. But still, one of TV's towering achievements will certainly have its day in the sun on these lists, as it should. The chaotic aftermath of Walt and Hank's confrontation and Jesse's slip into full-on depressive psychosis were both gripping as hell. Bloody meth empire coups are just the crimson icing on the crystal blue cake.

2. Breaking Bad, Season 5 Episode 11 – "Confessions"

Refusing authentic New Mexican tableside guacamole?! Walt's humanity is truly lost.

1. Breaking Bad, Season 5 Episode 9 – "Blood Money"

Confession: About two-thirds of the way through Breaking Bad's fifth-and-a-half-season premiere, I was thinking, "Well, this is good – Breaking Bad is always good – but it's not really blowing my mind like I'd hoped. They must be setting up the good stuff for next week." And then, blamo, like clear, climactic, revelatory thunder, the final garage scene between Hank and Walt. One of the most intense, gripping, powerful, brilliantly written and amazingly acted scenes I've seen on television all year long, and one of the best scenes of this entire stellar series.

Not gonna lie, I rewatched the scene on YouTube, like, ten to fifteen times the same night "Blood Money" aired, then probably another ten times over the course of the week. How brilliant it is to see five-plus years of television culminate in a moment like that. How rare. How awesome. I will not tread lightly when it comes to ranking this the best TV episode of August 2013.

Best TV Episodes, July 2013

10. Orange Is the New Black, Season 1 Episode 10 – "Bora Bora Bora"

Warning in advance: One show holds a tyrannical reign over July's Best TV Episodes list. This isn't just because said show is great – though it is – but because just about nothing else of note aired last month. Jenji Kohan's women's prison drama Orange Is the New Black revealed itself to be a pretty damn accomplished piece of work from early on, but its final five-episode run in particular is what makes it one of the best shows of the year. From Scared Straight visiting the prison – giving Piper and other lowly prisoners a chance to actually boss others around for once – to the tragic events at episode's end, "Bora Bora Bora" continued tugging the show's energy in simultaneously funny, sad and moving directions.

9. Teen Wolf, Season 3 Episode 6 – "Motel California"

Remember last month when I talked about how summer's thin TV schedule lets shows that probably wouldn't have made my Best TV Episodes lists in January-May or September-December slip through the cracks? Well, last month it was Defiance, now it's Teen Wolf, for a moderately fun, Buffy-esque hour where team teen wolf winds up staying overnight at a haunted hotel. As with Defiance, it's silly that Teen Wolf finds itself represented on a series of lists that I've yet to find room for far better shows such as New Girl or Scandal on, but unless New Girl or Scandal decides to debut a spare episode in June or July there's shit all I can do about it.

8. Orange Is the New Black, Season 1 Episode 5 – "The Chickening"

Much as the rat symbolized obviousness, the mysterious and fleetingly-glimpsed prison yard chicken in "The Chickening" was but thematic statement trapped in the flesh of a beast. But that doesn't mean that the feathered embodiment of hope and faith and freedom didn't work its magic on me just as it did Piper Chapman, and Piper's final, futile run to the fence at the episode's end to try to prove the bird's existence is one of my favorite moments of the first season of Orange Is the New Black.

7. Orange Is the New Black, Season 1 Episode 12 – "Fool Me Once"

The main reason Orange Is the New Black's penultimate episode makes the cut for this list is because of its pulse-raising, "Holy shit!"-inducing final line and the thrilling and perfectly-timed cut to orange that immediately follows. The rest of the episode was very good too, but the final ten seconds are what had me scrambling for my remote to fire up the season finale. That right there is TV playing you like a fiddle, and it's a good feeling.

6. The Fosters, Season 1 Episode 9 – "Vigil"

Like Defiance and Teen Wolf, ABC Family's new drama The Fosters (which I also highlighted last month) probably wouldn't be represented on these lists if it weren't airing during summer, but unlike Defiance and Teen Wolf I'm actually kind of glad to have an opportunity to talk up this little-known minor gem. In all fairness, this episode, which showed flashbacks to events before the beginning of the series from the point of view of a character currently in emergency surgery, is a pretty blatant ripoff of the classic West Wing two-parter "In the Shadow of Two Gunmen," but what worked back in 2000 still works damn well in 2013. My heart went out to the characters.

5. Orange Is the New Black, Season 1 Episode 13 – "Can't Fix Crazy"

I'll admit first thing that I can barely recall anything that happens before roughly the final ten minutes of Orange Is the New Black's first season finale (which I won't go too in depth on, because I know not everyone's gotten around to Orange yet). But man, what a moving sequence the prison musical is and what a dark and haunting but also kind of exciting and weirdly grin-inducing final image for the season to go out on. It's the kind of finale that both satisfies but also hooks you in for season 2; the sort of finale that's been in short supply this year.

4. Orange Is the New Black, Season 1 Episode 2 – "Tit Punch"

Truth be told, it took me a couple weeks to get around to hitting play on the first episode of Orange Is the New Black. Yes, TV critics went apeshit over it, but between the joyless House of Cards, the glacially-paced and emotionally dead The Americans and their continued fellating of the abysmal Girls, TV critics have burned me again and again in 2013. So when I finally did hit play on episode 1, it was with a hint of dread. That turned into curiosity by the end of the pilot, so I played another. And after episode 2, the less-salacious-than-it-sounds "Tit Punch," I was fully on board. The starving out of Piper is immediately frightening and visceral, gives her a great "puzzle" to solve for the episode and instantly establishes kitchen boss Red as a fascinating figure to be both feared and respected.

3. Orange Is the New Black, Season 1 Episode 9 – "Fucksgiving"

Any time you hear about a dark and mysterious location in any TV show that we the viewer haven't seen yet, you're gonna wanna see it. That's just human nature. Basic curiosity. This applies to everything from the hatch on Lost to the lands north of the Wall on Game of Thrones to the Special Housing Unit (or SHU) on Orange Is the New Black. Well, nine episodes in, our curiosity was sated, SHU was visited, and it was pretty terrifying. As a fundamentalist introvert, it's the first thing I've seen that actually makes me consider that if I wound up in prison maybe I wouldn't prefer solitary confinement after all. The drug smuggling and Thanksgiving subplots are just gravy on the cake, baby.

2. Switched at Birth, Season 2 Episode 15 – "Ecce Mono"

This isn't the first time this year I've put ABC Family's teen/deaf culture drama Switched at Birth higher than, well, higher than you'd expect a show called Switched at Birth to be on my Best TV Episodes lists. But it seems Switched at Birth has a bit of a creative streak. First there was "Uprising," the silent, all-sign language episode I discussed back in March, and now, with "Ecce Mono," Switched goes full alternate-universe and shows us a world where the show's titular switch was switched back. The alt-universe concept is so fucking inherently cheesy and in just about any other show would make me groan, but in this case the idea behind it was simple and immediately accessible and the new light it shined on the characters was interesting, engaging and surprisingly kinda dark. So more gimmick episodes, Switched at Birth! You're weirdly good at them!

1. Orange Is the New Black, Season 1 Episode 11 – "Tall Men With Feelings"

There's no question that the montage of the inmates huddled around their radios, reacting to the PBS interview Piper's fiancé Larry is giving about Piper's time in prison, is the best moment of Orange Is the New Black's first season and one of the best TV moments of the year.

It's enormously effective on a pure character illumination level, with Larry's secondhand impressions of Piper's fellow inmates – many of them based on what Piper had told Larry a long time ago when she first started her sentence – making various women alternately feel thrilled or proud at Piper's positive impressions of them or heartbroken at feeling betrayed by a woman they'd viewed as a friend. It's on the backs of that latter group that the scene also works as a riveting, dramatically thrilling "Oh shit, what's gonna happen next?!" shakeup to the show's narrative and character dynamics. This sequence is everything you hope for from great TV writing, operating at a level only three or four other dramas have managed to achieve in 2013.

Best TV Episodes, March 2013

10. Community, Season 4 Episode 6 – "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"

While neither me or anyone else (certainly not anyone else, since according to most of the rest of the TV blogosphere we're now supposed to hate Community unreservedly) would argue Community's fourth documentary episode measures up to "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking," "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux," or "Pillows and Blankets," it was a fun, energetic little episode with Donald Glover delivering comedic gold once again via Troy's quest to disagree with Annie on everything. I especially loved the show bringing back Chang's wife, last seen in "Environmental Science" two and a half years and 67 episodes ago. They may lack Harmon, but someone on Community's writing staff clearly knows their Greendale history.

9. Game of Thrones, Season 3 Episode 1 – "Valar Dohaeris"

No one will mistake Game of Thrones' setup-centric third season premiere as being among the show's finest hours, but I just love this world and these characters and, frankly, having a fantasy series on television operating at this level so much that I richly enjoyed it all the same. The final reveal of Barristan Selmy just oozed cool.

8. Spartacus, Season 3 Episode 7 – "Mors Indecepta"

Spartacus: War of the Damned's second-weakest episode (after episode 3, "Men of Honor," the season's only hour I would describe as merely good instead of explosively fantastic) was still a huge, action-packed spectacle with an ending that had me literally cheering out loud on my couch like a fucking crazy person. That War of the Damned's relative low points make almost all of the rest of TV look so fucking boring in comparison speaks to the searing power of what this season is in the midst of accomplishing.

7. Bob's Burgers, Season 3 Episode 17 – "Two for Tina"

I've reiterated multiple times that (despite H. Jon Benjamin's vocal greatness) Bob's Burgers' title character and his wife Linda are but supplementary to the show's true comedic superstars: Tina, Gene and Louise Belcher. And even amongst that trio – currently, if anyone's keeping track, the greatest sitcom characters on television – Tina stands alone, with "Bad Tina" and "Tina-Rannosaurus Wrecks" being two of my favorite sitcom episodes last year, and now "Two for Tina," which contains a dance contest that may just put Silver Linings Playbook to shame. I also love that this episode continued Tina's character arc from last month's also-hysterical "Lindapendent Woman," again establishing Bob's Burgers as having a continuity leg up on almost all other animated sitcoms.

6. Justified, Season 4 Episode 11 – "Decoy"

Justified is so much sheer goddamned fun that I'm honestly kind of shocked that it's accepted as a "great" show by the "serious TV drama must be grim and bleak and relentlessly unpleasant"-pushing voices of the TV blogosphere. But it's somehow slipped through the cracks, and a show capable of putting out an episode this insanely high-energy, complete with shootouts, standoffs, torture, a blood-pumping fight where I really wasn't sure who was gonna live, a psychotic evil henchman named "YOLO" and a literal goddamned exploding car can not only exist but also be critically lauded. Justified is just cool as hell, baby.

5. Spartacus, Season 3 Episode 5 – "Blood Brothers"

A mere three episodes after launching his plan to sack and take over a Roman city (itself an epic set piece 99% of other TV dramas would have saved for their season finale, which Spartacus casually tossed out as episode 2 like it weren't no thang), Spartacus' dominion of Sinuessa en Valle goes up in literal, spectacular flames in yet another insane midseason hour that, again, virtually any other show would have considered season finale material. Have I mentioned lately how Spartacus makes basically every other action show ever made look like dogshit?

4. Bob's Burgers, Season 3 Episode 16 – "Topsy"

ELECTRIC LOOoooOOooOVE!!!

3. Switched at Birth, Season 2 Episode 9 – "Uprising"

I mostly just think of ABC Family's Switched at Birth as a teen drama – a well above-average one, but just a teen drama regardless – so it was a pleasant shock to see them produce this formally and emotionally ambitious hour. The students of Carlton School for the Deaf rise up in an occupation protest when the city moves to shut their school down, which is, except for a few spoken lines at the episode's beginning and one more at its end, depicted entirely in silence with nothing but subtitled sign language to better reflect the viewpoint of the deaf characters. It was unique and ballsy, but more importantly than having a great gimmick, it had a great gimmick rooted entirely in character, thematically relevant and tied to a strong emotional throughline.

2. Spartacus, Season 3 Episode 8 – "Separate Paths"

Though I doubt anyone would describe Spartacus: War of the Damned episodes 4 through 7 as slow-paced, they nevertheless kicked it up another notch with this sweeping, tragic and epic antepenultimate episode, whose show-shattering climactic events made it clear that we're now locked firmly into endgame mode. It wasn't even technically a "final battle" (which will presumably be coming in the actual series finale airing April 12th), but it nonetheless delivered a massive and spectacular final battle set piece that effortlessly kicks the ass of most other TV battles I've seen. It was certainly, without hyperbole, hundreds of times bigger and more exciting than The Walking Dead's finale. And though I know I sound a broken record at this point, it was yet another midseason episode any other drama on television would have saved for season finale time.

1. Spartacus, Season 3 Episode 6 – "Spoils of War"

I've already done a full review for Spartacus: War of the Damned's endlessly clever, simultaneously thoughtful and thunderously exciting sixth episode, so I won't go too in depth here. But it's my favorite episode of what is my favorite TV season of the year so far, which may just make it my favorite TV episode of 2013 (give or take a Fringe series finale, perhaps). It was smaller in scope and more intimate than other episodes, but, as a hardcore Spartacus fan going way back, I found its self-reflective nature thrilling and even moving. A fun tour back through four years of an amazing series.

Top Thirty TV Shows of Q1 2013

As a means to publicly organize my thoughts, here are, ranked mostly without commentary, my thirty favorite shows of the year so far based solely on episodes aired between January 1st and March 31st, 2013. I don't even like the first few shows on the list that much, so if anything didn't make the cut you can safely assume that either, one, I haven't seen it (Enlightened falls in this category), two, it hasn't premiered yet (Breaking Bad, etc.), or three, I don't like it. I've seen at least a little of pretty much everything, so most missing shows fall into category three (fuck you, The Following!).

30. The Americans (new)
29. Glee
28. The Office
27. Revolution
26. Archer
25. The Walking Dead
24. Nashville
23. Vikings (new)
22. Gravity Falls
21. Revenge
20. Hart of Dixie
19. Parks and Recreation
18. Happy Endings
17. Arrow
16. American Dad!
15. Game of Thrones *
14. Scandal
13. Switched at Birth
12. 30 Rock
11. Supernatural
10. The Vampire Diaries
9. New Girl
8. Community
7. Banshee (new)
6. Justified
5. Fringe
4. Parenthood
3. Bunheads
2. Bob's Burgers
1. Spartacus: War of the Damned

* I love Game of Thrones and give it a 99% chance of being higher than this on my eventual best of 2013 list. But its ranking here is predicated on a single episode consisting mostly of setup, which, considering, I think actually makes being at #15 pretty impressive.

Best TV Episodes, January 2013

10. Banshee, Season 1 Episode 3 – "Meet the New Boss"

Here's the first of three early 2013 TV surprises: Cinemax's new show, Banshee, a small-town sheriff drama with a little extra-violent zest, is pretty good! I call this surprising because Cinemax's first two attempts at real, non-porn series, Strike Back and Hunted, sucked (I know some TV critics are bafflingly trying to pretend Strike Back is some kind of awesome guilty pleasure, but no, it's just a crappy action procedural with boobs), but Banshee is both smarter and way more fun than either. I could have picked any of its three January episodes for this slot, but ultimately went with "Meet the New Boss" on account of one of the most kick-ass onscreen fights I've seen in some time.

9. Supernatural, Season 8 Episode 11 – "LARP and the Real Girl"

2013 TV surprise #2: While I've previously found Supernatural's cases of the week to be mere appetizers to the main course of its arc episodes, in season 8, that's been soundly reversed, with my favorite hours of the season so far – "Bitten," "Hunteri Heroici," and now "LARP and the Real Girl" – all being standalones. (Filler, even.) This episode brought back Felicia Day's Charlie Bradbury, maybe Supernatural's best still-living recurring character save Castiel, and found a spin on live-action fantasy roleplaying that was funny and silly without ever being mean or hurtful about it. Just a damn entertaining episode. Forty-two minutes of top-to-bottom enjoyment.

8. Switched at Birth, Season 2 Episode 4 – "Dressing for the Charade"

And finally, 2013 TV surprise #3: I'm pretty sure Switched at Birth has supplanted Bunheads as my favorite ABC Family show. I put Bunheads way higher on my best of 2012 list, and Switched at Birth's fall arc kind of sucked, so I didn't think that would ever happen. But here we are: Bunheads has settled into a fun but disposable groove, while Switched is continually bettering itself and deepening its exploration of clashing cultures and the odd, compelling family at its center. But don't let me make it sound too serious – this episode, involving a series of escalating farcical mishaps at an ill-advised dinner party, is some of the most purely fun TV of the year so far.

7. Bob's Burgers, Season 3 Episode 11 – "Nude Beach"

One of the million things that makes Bob's Burgers the best animated sitcom on TV right now (and, at least for my money, in years) is its unusually long memory for that genre. It isn't "serialized," per se, but a number seemingly one-off characters have popped up again, weeks or even months later, picking up their stories where they left off. And in that spirit, "Nude Beach" acted as a de facto part two to the very first episode of the entire series, "Human Flesh," with health inspector Hugo Habercore coming into conflict with Bob once again, only this time in the nude. It was both a hysterically funny half-hour and also surprisingly made Hugo, previously a fairly one-dimensional villain, into a rounded, sympathetic character. When it comes to having heart without ever getting treacly or misplacing the funny, Bob's Burgers reigns supreme.

6. Parenthood, Season 4 Episode 15 – "Because You're My Sister"

Many critics commented that Parenthood's fourth season finale almost stumbled over itself in a rush to wrap up every single loose plot thread into an excessively happy ending, just on the off chance this ends up being the series finale (though the ratings are high enough that probably won't happen, thank god). And they aren't wrong. But god damn if I didn't have the biggest, dopiest grin of pure joy on my face during the episode/season-ending montage all the same. This show. It makes me feel, man! It makes me feel!

5. 30 Rock, Season 7 Episodes 12 & 13 – "Hogcock!" & "Last Lunch"

I won't go too in-depth on 30 Rock's series finale, not because I don't have stuff to say but because approximately two million other online essays have already covered every facet imaginable. But I will say that from my live viewing of its October 11th, 2006 series premiere to Thursday's two-part series finale – which, by the way, makes this by some margin the longest-running series that I've followed in real time from its very beginning to its very end (shamefully, I think the runner-up on that account may be the four-season run of Heroes) – 30 Rock has never stopped being an immensely enjoyable sitcom, and this finale wrapped it up very nicely. But it's actually not my favorite 30 Rock episode(s) of the month!

4. Spartacus, Season 3 Episode 1 – "Enemies of Rome"

Already discussed this in sufficient depth. Spartacus is this high because it kicks unbelievable amounts of ass. End of story.

3. 30 Rock, Season 7 Episode 9 – "Game Over"

"Game Over" isn't just my favorite 30 Rock of the month, but my favorite of season 7 and a very real contender for my top ten of the series. In uniting Jack Donaghy's long-term nemeses Devon Banks and Kaylie Hooper in one final effort to have his job, this episode brought satisfying closure to stories that 30 Rock has been slow-cooking for nearly its entire run. The series of climactic reveals detailing how Jack actually played and outsmarted Devon and Kaylie all along was both hilarious and damn impressive plotting. Beyond all that, that's a series wrap on Leo Spaceman, suckers! Lenny Wosniak returns and embraces his true identity as Jan Foster! Megan Mullally cameo! An explosively great 22 minutes of comedy.

2. Parenthood, Season 4 Episode 13 – "Small Victories"

I wrote about this in some detail as well, but "Small Victories" was a fantastic, achingly emotional hour of Parenthood that took on the abortion issue by refusing to "take it on" at all, instead depicting something overly politicized as the deeply personal choice it is. And the heaviness of that story was balanced by a comedic B-plot about body odor and pubic hair that had me laughing embarrassingly loud. This show is great. Season 5, NBC? Please?

1. Fringe, Season 5 Episodes 12 & 13 – "Liberty" & "An Enemy of Fate"

The two-hour finale of one of the best sci-fi series ever, while tense, twisty and exciting, didn't miraculously leverage its modest budget into something resembling a summer blockbuster spectacular. The final, climactic action scene of the entire series ultimately boiled down to a shootout in a parking lot (with numerous sci-fi twists on its edges, of course, including but not limited to teleportation, telekinesis, and time travel).

But there are three important ways that the two-parter of "Liberty" and "An Enemy of Fate" nailed the landing. One, timing. This finale went down at exactly the right moment, after five fast-paced seasons of continually shifting status quos, character dynamics, parallel universes and alternate timelines. Fringe didn't die so fast as to be tragic ala Firefly, but it also never grew stale and didn't outstay its welcome for a second. Granted, this is more a comment on the entire series than these specific episodes, but still, it's going to be a big part of why I recommend Fringe in years to come.

Two, mythology. I don't want to go too into this right now, but needless to say Fringe is not Lost. Every plot thread was wrapped up coherently and satisfyingly, there aren't any egregious unanswered questions, and absolutely nothing was brushed aside as being magic. (I mean, obviously time travel is magic, but they explain it as science fiction with science fiction terminology. It's a subtle but really, really important distinction.)

And three and most importantly, emotion. The action in this episode may have been relatively TV modest, but on the emotional level it was an explosive, devastating, intensely moving two hours. The true climactic moment of Fringe was not an action beat but a single, four-word line of dialogue from Peter Bishop that completed a five-year character arc with stunning beauty that sent goosebumps up my arm.

And, as an added bonus, we now have a great series finale to point to when Lost fanboys still defending that show's abortion of an ending cough up the ludicrous argument that there was no satisfying way to wrap up a long-running genre serial with a complex mythology. (Angel and Avatar: The Last Airbender already soundly disproved this, but one more example is always welcome).

Top Fifty TV Shows of 2012: #50 - 31

Television in 2012 was a tumultuous yet just as often joyous medium, with – no, I'm totally kidding! You guys are smart. You don't need a bloated, self-important preamble taking up space. The one note I'll make is that there are a handful of shows I'm a fan of but aren't on this list because I haven't gotten a chance to see any of their 2012 runs yet (probably most notably The Borgias and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia). But other than that, my list is my list, love it or hate it. On to the fun:
50. The Newsroom (HBO)

Hands down the iconic hate-watching experience of 2012, The Newsroom continued the quest Aaron Sorkin began in Studio 60 to try to make me question all the love I ever had for Sports Night and The West Wing. Watching and jeering at his unceasing-for-over-a-decade-now hate campaign against the internet's very existence ("I have a blog?!") was, without fail, great fun every week, and I can't wait for the show to come back to shrilly preach and lecture at us again next summer.

49. Once Upon a Time (ABC)

Honestly, Once Upon a Time isn't very good, and I quit watching it halfway through the first season, started back up at the season finale, then quit again four episodes into season 2. But, that said, I do respect it for keeping serialized fantasy alive on network television, and to pretty damn good ratings at that. Better fantasy shows may exist down the line because this harmless but ultimately disposable fairy tale saga paved the road for them to travel.

48. Go On (NBC)

From the very first time I saw Friends until "The Last One" aired in May 2004, Chandler was always my favorite Friend and about 60-70% of the reason I watched the show, period. So it's a bit of a shame Matthew Perry has spent his post-Friends career bouncing around various shows unworthy of his talents. Nevertheless, this grief counseling semi-ensemble comedy gives him a chance to flex his sarcasm and averages about one or two laughs per episode, which ain't superb, but does – spoiler alert – make it the only new fall 2012 sitcom on this list.